Co-Housing

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http://www.cohousing.org.uk/

http://www.communitylandtrust.org.uk/documents/CLT%20leaflet.pdf

http://www.lancastercohousing.org.uk/

http://www.hillholtwood.com/

http://www.autonomousgeographies.org/casestudy3.html

Townhead Collective, near Barnsley.

Cannon Frome.

Loch Arthur Community http://www.locharthur.org.uk/ / Camp Hill Trust. http://www.camphill.org.uk/

MaxComfort Cohousing project

Wild Peak

2nd april - 7.30pm Phone conference on Skype.

Tash

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Tash 27/02/07

Thoughts from before the Springhill visit:

From reading about co-housing the benefit of combining private and communal space seems fantastic.

Issues that seem important to think about and find a group who share ideas include:

  • location (city/town/village/rural/outskirts/centre - accessibility)
  • communality (what do I mean by this and what do others think??)
  • Kids
  • People (how to have a mix of people and for it to be affordable)
  • Size
  • Communication

Unsure about how flexible I would be to move as love my job and quite settled in Leeds.

Thoughts after the weekend (lovely train journeys, interesting visit and good chats)

Really excited – both about the opportunity to spend time with such lovely like minded people to help me think more about this and that we to have pretty similar ideas of what we want and a lot of flexibility.

Shared feeling that process important and that even if we all end up doing separate projects still useful.

Springhill – really impressive in terms of being a self build project done relatively quickly and having some great communal space, and co-housing seem real rather then abstract. It was also helpful it making think about things it is important to me we do differently including:

  • Groundwork for a group to understand each other, check they want similar things and learn to work together
  • Trying to avoid hierarchy where possible
  • Maximise handsonness to feel involved and to make affordable
  • Make affordable (?housing co-op with some properties for sale, others for rent and price capping on resale, and sweat equity)
  • More thought about design


Felt that we did agree on values and vague concepts:

  • Low impact with consideration for the planet
  • Good communication (open, respectful, sharing expectations and feeling)
  • Non judgemental, tolerant, welcoming and aware
  • Mutually supportive and inspiring, to allow us all to strive for fulfilment
  • Diversity - e.g. age, race, socially
  • Sharing in the broadest sense – practically, structurally, of resources, by gaining increased power through our numbers, with emotional support, our lives, meals and time
  • Commitment – either of certain amount of time or to a role with the group
  • Flexibility
  • Kids being important – didn’t finish discussion re kid friendly vs kid focused

Other ongoing thoughts:

  • Is it possible to do this in a way that is accessible to us and the people we want to share our lives with
  • North???
  • Spaces for use rather then specific groups
  • Maybe complicated when we turn this from a discussion group to action group in terms of how we will let people know about project and how open we will be.
  • Fuckloads of work…..(but hey whats life without a challenge…)
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At the end of the email is the stuff from lancaster, looks possible but not definite that someone will be available to talk to us.

I think it would be good to have a forum or blog as I feel a bit bad writing another thing about how I feel. It would be good to have a space where it could be read when people felt like it and not clog up your inboxes.

I felt like I had already done a lot of talking and thinking about housing and how I wanted to live before this process began becuase of moving in and out of cornerstone, creating xanadu and then the decision to leave. Despite this I feel that over the last couple of months I have done even more thinking and talking.

My previous experience makes me wary of jumping into things too fast with people I don't know but not adverse to having new people involved.

I am keen to ensure openness and not exclusivity whilst keeping certain core values like sharing, respect and concern for the planet

My past expereiences have shown me the benefits of close knit communities and good friends but also that I need a range of social interactions. I think it will be important in terms of location that we are somewhere where we can access different types of people and activities. I am really up for the idea of our space giving something to the local community - e.g. space for meetings, social centre, cinema but for me this is as well as being able to go and do stuff elsewhere.

Reflecting on what Kirsty said about the potential loss of some of the communities we live in now, I hope that by creating a space where people can have more privacy and space to have families we have greater chance of maintaining some of those friendships as up till now people wanting either of those factors have had to change how they live and I find mself living with younger and younger people. Shared houses are great but aren't for everyone, which will probably be true of this bonkers idea but hopefully it will allow us more choice.

sorry will stop rambling now....

Kirsty

Kirsty’s Co-housing Thoughts, Reflections & Ramblings

February 2007

Why do I want to be part of thinking about Co-housing?

Living in so many different ways over the last 10 years of my life has really made me think about how I want to live and what I want and need from the environment in which I live. From sharing with 4 others to 5 then 7 in an ever increasing level of communality, to living in a self-made camp in Tanzania with 15 others in a communal way to then travelling and working in Botswana to South Africa and then to live on my own in a close knit community for 2 years. Coming home and slowly increasing from 1 other, to 4 and then to 8. Wow, what a journey!!!! Feel like I have had the experience of so many different types of situation, some good and some not so good, but they are all extremely good to reflect on and hopefully learn from.

I see friends and relatives, colleagues and clients, old and young getting stuck almost or lost in the way that ‘we’ have chosen to cut ourselves off from each other as we strive for happiness in a culture that seems to have lost it’s sense of community. I’ve constantly been struck and amazed and overwhelmed by the other cultures that I have been so incredibly lucky to have been a part of for small pockets of time. I want to reflect on what I have learnt from these experiences and inject some of that learning back into my culture/world. That kind of make lots of sense to me at the moment. I often considered never coming back to the UK, but then realised that it’s ‘my’ culture and that there is so much to develop within it.

I have lived with and therefore been influenced by a massive variety of people and feel extremely lucky to have had the opportunities I have had and also to have had the opportunity to really think about the future and what it could possibly hold and what I consider important.

I feel great excitement by the prospect of what could be, but also overwhelmed by the sheer size and uncertainty of it all. Also at all that is at stake – for me, it’s not the potential loss of money that bothers me, but the potential strain and loss of some incredibly wonderful and close relationships with people that I have my shared history with. Not only in those that I have known for the last 10 years, but also in those I have met more recently, particularly Alan. This factor however could really (hopefully most likely) be more of an asset than not. With sharing our lives we can also share our histories and grow further together, but be aware and realise the importance of keeping a sense of self and independence.

Core Values – ethos

  • Low impact – on the planet and the community we become part of.
  • Consensus decision making.
  • Non-judgemental.
  • Communication – Openness, respect, honesty, inclusive, hearing and being heard – strive to develop a culture of this.
  • Helping each other to be who we really are and in that helping all to take control of their lives – independently and together. Being aware of others and their needs and also aware of the wider community and extending that to the planet.
  • Encouraging diversity – class, race, age, ability, political active-ness
  • Commitment
  • Sharing – this is huge! Sharing at a practical level, but this also extends to sharing at an emotional and social level. Sharing our lives, sharing our time. Plus not only are there these things to share, but also when I think of shared histories, isn’t that a building block of communities? Possibly a vital resource and quality that we all have together and will help us to pull this off. But then I do appreciate that have concerns for the potential loss that is also at stake.
  • Equality
  • Flexibility (of these core values!) – All this is wonderful, but I feel that within this we really need to be aware of how all of this is seen from the outside. Worry about becoming self-righteous and the need to remember that we will not always be consistent with what we believe in and that that’s ok. Maybe these points could be seen more as guidelines. I want all to feel welcome (in terms of visitors and other’s using the project as a resource) and that needs to mean being flexible and accepting.

Location-

I would like to think that I am pretty flexible (but stuck to the north of England I have to admit (so semi-flexible!) – always lived here and financially probably makes sense). I would ideally like to be at the edge of a town or city, somewhere with good transport links – bus, train and bike. Maybe a market town. I see old build rather than new – the idea of using what is already there and renovating it appeals more to me, but that does depend on finding a ‘shell’. I worry with new build that it will effect the relationship with the wider community more – i.e. that we come in and plonk ourselves down. It is important for me that the are other people living close by and that our ‘community’ is part of the wider community and that we don’t become a bubble.

Children

At the moment I am unsure as to whether or not the decision or ability to have children will come my way, but I know that I want to have children around me, whether mine or other peoples’. Children are vital to our sense of who we are and where we have come from and a crucial part of community life – and that essentially is what we are striving for here. This brings me to child-focussed versus child-friendly. What is the distinction for me? Well, I’m not sure! I may well have to sit on the fence here and say that we need something in-between!!!!! I think child-focussed is too much – surely we want it to be people-focussed? Child-friendly seems too little – surely we want it to be people-friendly? I remember here what one of the residents at the co-housing project said – importance of space for use not for type of person. In order to strive for diversity, then we also want to be able to include folk who are not necessarily child-focussed people, therefore it can’t be child-focussed, but then we may need to be more than child-friendly! I need to think more about this!

Springhill co-housing project – 24th February, 2007

Think I was struck most over the weekend at how well the group seemed to gel together. This added to the excitement at what could be and has helped me to think more about what my hopes are. The train journeys were a wonderful opportunity to explore our own thoughts and those of others and I feel that we used the time incredibly well. It was really wonderful to have time for those discussions and then see a project and be struck by the reality of it all and then have time for thoughts and discussions afterwards. We should congratulate ourselves for this.

Good aspects I was struck by o Pond! o Treehouse! o SUDS – ground water system (bit confused about the technical aspects of this, but it seemed amazing!) o Common house – central location and massive (very well organised – maybe a bit much?). Unavoidable – a good thing! o Great example of new-build project o Good to see how they organise themselves

Limitations I was struck by

o It’s a bubble. o Looks like how IKEA would build a house if they did that! o Hierarchal – there’s a manager with ‘deep pockets’ – unequal power and control relationships. Is it possible to avoid this? o No growing of veg! o Teenagers? Potentially not a good place for them – eyes on them all the time. No space to ‘hang out’. – space about type of use not type of person. One father said that he thought that the space was fantastic for younger children, but maybe not the case for when kids get a bit older. o Capitalist philosophy – talk of selling things (for money) to each other. I would like to exchange things (or time) rather than money for the things that other people produce. o They (maybe it was the project manager) didn’t seem to initially consider the impact on the wider community – negative reactions and therefore took a long time to build up those relationships and be accepted – colonised!!!!! That, I think would be the bonus of doing up an existing property (shell), rather than new-build which could potentially be very overbearing for the wider community and already starts us off on a potential bad foot. Easier to fit in, when you fit in with what’s there!


Other thought re Springhill

o Get the common area sorted first as a team. Priority over individual spaces. o Group building exercises o Space for use not for type of person o Importance of thinking about the structure and space and where things are in relation to other things – the psychology of space! o May be worth having someone outside the group as an external supervisor/facilitator o Need to be aware that there may be many changes happening at the same time e.g. re-location, new job, moving house, forming relationships – important to be aware and maybe that they don’t all happen at the same time. o Need to think about the size – Springhill felt too big for me.

Key words/phrases and other things that stand out for me and what they mean to me.

  • Flexible – How important it is that we remain fluid, growing and developing together and not becoming rigid in what we see as the ‘core values’. Therefore enabling inclusion either of potential new ‘neighbours’ or visitors to the project from wider community.
  • Communal – comes back to the things that we share together and being aware of other people’s needs.
  • Community – Community within a community
  • Communication – honest, open, consensus decision making
  • The power that we can have as a group to act and accomplish goals
  • One of Cath and Phil’s points about the potential to highlight the differences of us all rather than similarities – really important to be aware of this.
  • Is the group going to be open or closed? We decided on keeping the group closed for now. It is really difficult as although it would be great to keep this open, we could be in awkward situations and we are far from ready to say that we are a ‘planning’ group as we are so near the beginning. At the same time, there is no doubt that other people will hear about this as we will inevitably talk about it – I worry about people thinking that we are being elitist. We can say to people that we are in the very early discussion phase – certainly not a ‘planning group’ yet and at the same time not invite others in just yet!
  • Is Adi Gaul (where I was in Eritrea) a co-housing example? (can we go for a visit? Me and Alan could sail there next year if anyone wants to crew).
  • It’s important to remember that whatever happens, the process that we are going through is incredibly useful. Some of us may go on to develop a project that others may not. IT’S OK!!!!!!!!

Next

  • Phone conference – 2nd April 7.30pm
  • Weekend in Ulverston – 25th – 28th May to visit the Lancaster co-housing group.
  • People to go on ‘fact finding missions!’ arrange to go and visit other projects with the idea that if others can go then great, but if not, then no probs – people who can go then can feed back to the rest of us.
  • Think about setting up a bank account and putting money in every month – either a set amount or possibly a percentage of everyone’s income. The idea being to use this as a savings account or use it for travel expenses. Also thought about taking an average of all travel expenses so that we can all pay the same for each journey.

Me to do next

  • Check out potential bank accounts – get forms
  • Book accom for Ulverston weekend


Christo

  • My feelings about co-housing are that the principal is great. My immediate concerns were that I had only just moved from shared housing into living with Holly, so it felt a bit abrupt for me to be thinking about co-housing even though it is far down the line. Also having just finished or finished the first stages of the mammoth Star and Shadow project, I was slightly daunted by the idea of launching into another large project like building a set of homes! Hee hee, all good fun though innit.

I like the idea of rural and urban. I have to say I am a keen film, art and music fan, and I like cities because they are so diverse and I feel confronted and engaged by a myriad of realities ina city whereas i find i would be more inward looking if I was in a totally rural place. The frisson of a city is very exciting for me.

Having said that, i love the romantic ideal of setting up a family in the countryside, and working outside is good.

I like the idea of cooking once a month collectively. I like the overriding principal of an intentional communality, but equally I know currently my priorities arent in the right order for communal eating for example, and i hope it wouldnt cause bad feeling if some people didnt come to the meals. It is not through wanting privacy, it is from being fascinated by all the stuff going on out there in the wide world, especially around supper time. I know I am going into more detail than might be necessary.

Kids - I love children and would love to be around them and even have them some day. Whether it is child focused or child friendly? i think open-minded, outward-looking, people focused (children being very cool and full of potential), and organic and fluid are my favorite themes. Architecturally - I am daunted! But I like architecture. Location - I am very fond of Newcastle, and feel I have built up a lot of stuff here which i would feel sad to loose. I dont regularly plan much ahead, so it would take some brave thinking to plan moving away for good, like it is taking brave thinking on my behalf to plan for co-housing too. Number of participants: I am open to anything - any number, any range of people. I dont feel i know all the people as well as some of you all know each other, but it is a good way of making new friends or developing early friendships into maturer (sic) ones.

Lease/ purchase - daunted again. I think some sort of coop is good, rather than buying shares and then buying out.

Paul´s bit (from an internet cafe in Chiapas)

Last night i saw subcommandante marcos (the spokesperson of the ezln) speak in san cristobal about their visions for agrian reform. Ive also spent the last week visitng autonomous projects and communities resisting neoliberalism. So excuse me if i drift off into utopianism. Im going to visit the one in san francisco where i am heading in 2 weeks (overland by the way – 4 days in bus).

Back to co-housing.... its always been a dream of mine to build projects which show the possibilities of living in other ways, developing solidarity and trust between individuals. springhill was ok. we could do better ourselves. they are nice middle aged people. we are different. the weekend was better for me to hang out with people i know but not that well and strengthen relationships. im looking forward to other combinations of people doing the same. Here are some points for me.

• My own attitude – im often impatient and want things to go at my rather rapid speed than the group speed. This often undermines the consensus thing. Im aware of this – so just kick me when this happens. Im also working on it myself. I like bureacracy and getting projects going and so im not phased by a bit of stress or hard graft and the the odd dispondancy. This project will happen!

• Kids – key for me as i see these as a big part of my future – my own and other peoples. Im not sure what the difference between friendly or focused is especially in design terms – padding the whole thing out in sponge and soft toys? I think naturally it will develop that way according to who is there. And we have all said kids are important so im assuming kids will be a key part.

• Design and build – i really would like to build my own ecologically sound house – maybe of wood or straw bail. And i would probably take a year off work to do this. This doesnt mean other people have to, but i would like to. I see a co housing project as an opportunity where it can develop in stages and a variety of styles and materials – rather than a one size fits all scheme. Ie there might be some exisiting buildings and some new build. It depends what we find.

• Community interaction – this is important to me. I dont want to live in a ghetto. Im not saying that i would want everyone living nearby to feel they can constantly come in but id like some elements that might increase community contact – maybe a resource cente or basc cafe, or maytbe just open days where we can demonstrate what we are doing – ie low impact living, our energy or water system etc. I see it as having an important educational and outreach aspect – but of course we would all collectively put limits on what this would mean.

• Values – all the things already mentioned are key to me – communciation, flexibility, sharing, consensus, green etc. These communities are often called intentiaonal communities – im not sure what our ‘intention’ is – perhaps just to get together and do something different. But we are not an intentional community like a green, religious or political community thats clear at least. Even though i do a lot of political activism i dont see this project as a base for campaigns or activists – im too old for all that....and i want a bit of space from that.

• Size - Ive been scared off too much sharing by my bad experiences in xanadu – not getting on with individuals and bveing trapped in a collective project of 6 people. So im keen to have more space. Im also keen though that this is a bigger project – maybe 12 household units. This gives enough critical mass (shared food, laundry, interet etc) and annonimity so small group personal tensions dont emerge – ie they melt into the wider community. However i still want a legible scale so its not too big.

• Affordability – if we pull this off it will be affordable. Theres no need to go any further or giving ourselves a hard time. I am not aiming to provide housing for low income families i dont know – it will be enough of a struggle to get this thing off the ground for ourselves. Id like mixed tenure but god only knows where you get the money from upfront to build units for rent. I think soem kind of financial commitment and group bank account is key if and when we do constitute ourselves. Otherwise its a discussion group.

• Process – a lot of this is only going to be thrashed out in the doing of it not in writing it. Im not sure what the group will look like in a years time. I reckon that an averaging of views where we all compromise on what we want for the sake of inclusivity isnt the best approach – as everyone ends up being a bit underwhelmed or disappointed. On the other hand, i value and really like everyone currently involved and interested in this project so i would work personally at compromising on a few things to make sure as many as possinble can pursue whatever comes next together.

• Location – it seems the north of england seems pretty much a core idea – correct me if im wrong. For me leeds or an hour from leeds would be perfect. I think there is huge potential in the smaller towns near leeds – huddersfield, halifax, bradford. These are architectaurally interesting, diverse if not poor places and would be ideal. As for location i reckon on the edge. But lets face it in small places the edge can be fairly central if yo see what i mean. Im not keen on rural as i like interaction but green and growing space is essential for me. There was a meeting last week in leeds about setting up an eco village – dont know who. But it shows that lots of people are thinking along similar lines. Its exciting but it gives me a sense of (maybe unwarranted) urgency. I reckon the time is ripe to convince councils to give groups like ours discounted land. In a few years if many others start to ask for this kind of hting then it wont be given. Its just a point i was considering as a political fact as ive had a few conversations with peopel in leeds council who said they would be very interested in talking to a group like ours. When we are not a novelty anymore, they wont be interested.

Thats all for now from the mountains of south east mexcio. Lots of love to you all and i will try and find skype for 2 april but dont be surprised if i cant.


holly's thoughts


it's taken me a while to get these thoughts down - i think because the weekend away gave rise to so many thoughts and discussions, that its been hard to stop and isolate where I'm at in this ongoing thought process!

the strongest feeling that persists after the weekend away is of a mix of gratitude and excitement about being part of a group of people with whom i feel free to explore with, in such an honest way, ways of living that are true to who i am, and appropraite to the world and society we inhabit.

Yes, i feel the potential for something real, concrete (or should i say, straw) to come out of this, and i hope it does, but i think the most important thing at the moment for me is to acknowledge the importance of sharing thoughts, experiences, dreams...and that out of that things grow, perhaps even a place to live together! In a sense this process is a forum for us to share thoughts and through this develop our own ...or at least that’s how i see it. And i’m lucky to have that. (that's not to say i see this as purely a discussion group, far from it. )

i suppose that's the heart of why I'm interested in co-housing too - the power that lies in sharing things in an intentional way; it’s more possible to DO things! ...like sharing responsibility for the earth's resources and natural environment and for each other's well-being and individuality......

I'm wary of banging on about 'where i grew up' but of course I'm doing a lot of thinking about what growing up in a land-based 'intentional' community has given me....it does seem to me that a couple o the keys to making it 'work' in Loch Arthur, but also in other places i've been, is communication -and a shared sense of purpose.

since leaving home for romania, and then university, i've lived in a mixture of shared houses, to greater and lesser degrees of communality, always quite happy knowing that it's worth the effort...and now I'm loving living in a wee house just with christo, learning for the first time about having space that's my own, that doesn't involve having to find a tree or closing a door! in some ways i know what he means when he says he finds it a bit hard to think beyond where we are now as this was such a change for both of us. but there's lots of important elements in my life, that i increasingly feel sure i want to find space to develop - and that fit into the idea of co-housing:

  • I'm deeply convinced of the need to live with less impact on, and more respect for, the earth. i think there's so many happy, conscious, inspiring (but definitely unpreachy) ways to living more conscientiously and that these make far more sense in our crowded world, alongside others. A major part of this for me is in thinking about the food i eat. I'd love to cultivate this interest with others I lived with; growing, processing, preserving, finding, breeding, sharing, selling even?! Obviously, what is possible is dictated by where we are, and the will of those involved, but equally, both those factors will inform my involvment in the project. (And this doesn't mean having to be farming in a totally rural community; we just showed a film about how cuba dealt with Peak Oil by people growing their food in small, animal and people-powered enterprises which resulted in Havana sourcing 80% of its food from withink the city!)
  • i know that i want to live in a social environment that allows for each of us to be the individual we are. and i feel increasingly sure that for me that means something like co-housing. For sure, growing up in a community with folk from 6 mnths to 80 yrs, many with disabilities and with folk from all over the world has informed my desire to live with the richness that a diversity of people around you brings. I would like to try for a good balance between peaceful privacy to live as an individual and a family, and the contact and support that living close to/with others would bring.

I want the interaction with others beyond that which might happen in a less 'intentional 'setting. ( a wee simple example - living here, there's no sense of having to smile and have anything to do with my neighbour as they come out of their house in the morning - an ideal for me would be knowing that person, caring for them and wanting to interact with them, even if i was in a rush and slightly resented it some mornings!)

  • i hope that children will be a major part of my life over the years ahead and however i'm involved in how this project is shaped, it will be informed by that hope and reality. In thinking about how i grew up, the community was not focused around children, but around the nurturing of individuals, depending on what they needed and could do- this sort of philosophy extended naturally towards us children. I would want collective decisions to be made with children and families in mind. I do think a good balance of contact with other children and adults apart from teachers, parents and authoratitive figures is healthy! I also think that some contact for all adults with children is essential to keep us open minded and silly-loving ! So all this impacts on thoughts about location in a big way. I would hope for my children to be able to run free, make dens and mud pies (and later on hang out in shacks and tree houses doing their smokin, drinkin and growin) but primarily to learn from watching and interacting with the natural world. Ideally, however, not growing up isolated from what is our shared reality -so, having access to kids activities and cultures would be great. As more close friends have children I do see the importance of not being isolated, especially for breat-feeding mothers at first..perhaps being a parent in co-housing there could be a good balance between support, contact and respect for all the extra time that is consumed in growing children!
  • I'm interested in all levels of what can be called community; I would be keen to have a shared committment towards forging links with the wider community we might find ourselves in. This might mean inviting folk to things (solar powered film screenings outside?), having some more open resources (space, an area of garden, composting ) or a bigger element of the project might be open (eg. educational, playgroupy ?) My interest in creativity also comes down to community really - I'd hope there might be shared creative and cultural activities, and that my work, however it develops, might spill over into where i live, somwhow. (I know that the opposite is true for others of you - you like keeping work and home seperate, but i do think these two aspirations can co-exist).

I'm curious to look at other financail models to springhill....i don't have any money and don't think i ever will as i can't seem to make it a priority- but am always happiest sharing what i do have! (and can see the merit of starting to express my committment through money, however humbley)

As for building or renovation/adapting: I am open minded at the moment, and am prepared for having to face our, my limitations. (Yes, we will all have to compromise in order for something to happen!) Having just spent an incredible weekend helping friends build their first, communal part of their housing project out of locally sourced green wood, (down to the whittled pegs holding it all together,) I can't help but be totally inspired as to how fulfilling that could be. But what I'm left with overall, is a sense of how much hard work, time, struggle and faith in what they were doing it has taken them to realise this part of their dream. Worth it though!

Alan’s initial musings on co-housing 31 March 2007


Actually what we’re looking at is how we want to do with our lives. That’s pretty big. Hence it’s prompted big discussions for all the individuals and couples involved at the moment.

The core principles that we share Low impact on the planet from our direct activities (as well as commitment to challenge societal forces) Try to communicate clearly, cultivating open and honest friendships Mutually supportive and inspiring, to allow us all to strive for fulfilment. Not just sharing resources, but friendship Respect leading to flexibility Child friendly environment

Compromising and re-visioning a long the way I don’t think any of us has the same aspirations for how we might live together. And what might be possible in money, land and people is going to be limited. And our circumstances are going to change. So compromise is inevitable. But I think we will need to keep coming back to what we’re ultimately trying to do. We can’t take it for granted what each other are aiming for. It will be shaped by the experiences of the process. So I think we would need regular “(re)visioning” exercises. That’s why I’m keen on the picture exercise, that is a crude and simple embodiment of what we are ultimately interested in. I can feel it for myself that my aspirations are already being shaped by what I THINK might be possible.

Design, New build or renovation One of the biggest attractions for me about co-housing is the mixture of sharing together and personal space. This is best embodied for me in the difference between the front and back gardens of the gardens in the (apparently) “classic” Danish horseshoe shape co-housing scheme. In the front garden one expects to chat and share. In the back garden, neighbours respect each other’s privacy. One of the key bits of learning from Springhill, for me, is how important the physical layout of the community is to its conviviality. Houses physically more on the edge can end up on the edge of the community too. Those nearest to the community rooms will inevitably bump into people more. So, for me, that’s the advantage of the Danish horseshoe shape design, with the community building(s) at the entrance. That way everyone is equally near the community facilities. Initially I was attracted to terraced houses. This would save the massive undertakings of building from scratch. It would also put us in an existing community with existing and obvious ways of relating to our neighbours. And we wouldn’t be a bunch of hippie, life-stylists, abdicating ourselves of our societal bonds and responsibilities by creating a pure, carbon-zero nirvana. I wouldn’t want it to be perceived as a “demonstration project”. I think that could lead to piety. But the design thing made me think again. With a terrace of houses there really would be people “designed into” the margins. In some ways this might not matter if people on the physical fringes are conscientious about being involved in communal activities and tasks. But I think it can be often the accidental moments and conversations from rubbing up against each other that breed meaningful relationships. I don’t want to get just get to know people in the managed, “set piece” social interactions of meals, and (of course) meetings. I would hope that we might be able to convince a public body that we would be good to some land to at a substantial discount. Co-housing is much more to offer than your usual housing developer. Relationship to the “outside” Something I think it is impossible to get right is how introverted and extrovert it could be. One of the tensions is that different people will want the co-housing community to be outward looking to different degrees. And even for each of us, we’re all going to have days when we don’t really want to be have to be nice to the chavva who wants help fixing their bike. I did think the picket fence round Springhill was more than physical. It was rather bubble shaped! Something I would be interested in doing is having some sort of resource for the wider, immediate geographical community. This would provide a reason and excuse for “outsiders” to come and “trespass” on our community, get to know us, and find out that we’re not just a bunch of self-righteous, rich hippies. Children and Caring responsibilities At the moment, I don’t think I’m going to want try to have children myself. I still carry deep scars from trying before. For a long time I’ve thought I’d like to be a non-biological parent. Parents are the people who take the responsibility of the upbringing of children. I think it’s good for young people to have more parents than just their biological parents. It seems obvious that a child will develop best if more people than just their natural mum or dad influence them. It also makes sense to spread the burdens (and joys) of parenting. This is what happens more in many other societies and communities. So, what I’m interested in co-housing for the potential to share parenting. I don’t know if I just mean being another responsible adult around, or a more obvious responsibility. One thing the dad we met at Springhill said was how it was great for younger kids, but difficult for teenagers, ‘cos there were “36 sets of [potentially reporting] eyes”.

Accessibility and diversity I don’t want to live in a bubble of just people like me or just old friends. I loved the “retreat” of the home Mary and I created. But I also loved the experience of living with totally new and different people. Clare, last year, for example. Tristano and Vanessa this year, also. I loved the description at Springhill of there being a child of every age there. I think I want to carry on living with living with people with different experiences and abilities. Not just different bodily abilities. But the whole spectrum of ages. I’d also like it to be place of shelter, at times. For destitute asylum seekers, for example. But then again, I want it to feel, and really be, relatively equal relationships. That is one of the things about the Camphill communities, like Loch Arthur, I really respect. For me that is a vision of heaven on earth – demonstrating the type of communities we/I want to live in. Co-housing can be seen a bit like anarcho sheltered-housing! It would be great place to be for my physical deterioration in later life.

Me moving somewhere new I lived pretty much continuously in Newcastle for 15 years now. There are many wonderful things about the friendships and networks that have grown over that time. But I’m very willing to move somewhere else. I think I would enjoy the challenges and opportunities of doing it all over again somewhere else. Having just visited Glasgow, I was excited about how nice it would be to move there! My paid employment is part-time, pretty secure and not fixed to any particular location. So that doesn’t hold me back. Rural, urban or semi I was brought up in a lovely village. Looking back it was a privilege that we could walk ourselves to primary school and play-out in barns, streams, bushes, quarries and on railways lines. But now I hate the privacy, homogeneity, and conspicuous consumption of a wealthy area like much of Oxfordshire. Ultimately I think cities are more sustainable use of resources than rural living. I also like all the opportunities and services that come from living in an urban place. Yorkshire and Lancashire are good because they have quick escape options and in much of it the topography of the cities is undulating.

Moving out and within At Springhill there was a variety of size of units. People could move to bigger or small units as their family or financial circumstances changed. That sounded like a good idea. After our visit to Springhill I visited my friend Ali, who was brought up at the Canon Frome community. One point she made was about people moving out. At Cannon Frome people bought in according to their financial means. Eventually people wanted to move out, but to couldn’t afford to because other property had gone up in value. So some people felt “stuck” or at least frustrated that their future external ownership choices were limited. I think this is only a problem where people buy a stake. It also predicated by the aspiration for home ownership.

Money I’m privileged that I have quite a bit of capital made from owning my house with Mary for 7 years. At the moment I’m renting it out till I decide what to do with it. But eventually I want to sell it. And is seems to make sense to wait to see what happens with this co-housing venture.

The starting group and size I can already see that our starting group have probably impossible different aspirations. I think the exploration process is a wonderful way to “do” our friendship. Together we sharing aspirations and we’ve got common activities. As long as we communicate well, then we should be able to live with our different interests and stay friends. I think we have enough respect and in stuff in common to weather the tensions that will arise. Thank you all, for your honesty in what you have written. I don’t quite know what I think about the size of the co-housing project should eventually be. But I’m sure it would have to be more than just us.

Blog Soon I plan to jig these ramblings around a bit to put it into bite size chunks for a blog. I don’t want to put this all on at once. Rather create a format for conversational comments from you and others. I would hope the blog would helpful for us all, and also random people interested in co-housing.


Future times together 2 April ~ Picture exercise on skype 26-28 May ~ visit to Lancaster co-housing 11 June ~ discussion in Newcastle 6 & & October ~ weekend gathering

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